Hey, love. I wish we weren't so far away, you know. You could always come to me. I would let you stay with me, if you ever felt you needed to get away. I would never judge you. Never.
I know exactly how it is to find solace on the computer. The people who are closest to you are supposed to be tolerant; understanding. When you can't feel you can lean on them and confide in them, it hurts. You should never be meant to feel that way, especially by your own parents.
I don't want to say too much about your father because it's probably not my place, but my father has never understood me, either. And when he hugged me before I left, saying he really did love me, I just stood there and said "okay". I didn't believe him. I couldn't bring myself to say "I love you, too" or return the hug. I'm not sure I even love him. He's always felt like a stranger and has never approved of my appearance, my hobbies, or anything else I've done in my life. There were times where he made me feel like the worst person in the world, too. Because I moved away, I broke free of that. I want to cut him out of my life and just... start over; something. I would hope it would never come to that for you -- it would be wonderful if you could have an actual bond with your father and feel loved and understood by him; by your entire family. I wish you the best.
You should never be made to feel that your feelings are wrong. They're not. You're a beautiful person. You deserve to be loved, cared for, listened to, and respected.
Empathy only translates so well over the computer, but know that it hurts me every time you're hurting. It really does. I wish I could comfort you in person and give you the support you need. I can only do so much here -- it's painful...
I'll always, always, always love you. I'll always support you. And you can talk to me about anything, any time. Please, if you ever need someone to listen, come to me. Nothing you could say would offend me. You can vent... cry... do whatever you need to. Know that I love you, forever, and I'm here if you want me.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2009-04-14 12:44 am (UTC)I know exactly how it is to find solace on the computer. The people who are closest to you are supposed to be tolerant; understanding. When you can't feel you can lean on them and confide in them, it hurts. You should never be meant to feel that way, especially by your own parents.
I don't want to say too much about your father because it's probably not my place, but my father has never understood me, either. And when he hugged me before I left, saying he really did love me, I just stood there and said "okay". I didn't believe him. I couldn't bring myself to say "I love you, too" or return the hug. I'm not sure I even love him. He's always felt like a stranger and has never approved of my appearance, my hobbies, or anything else I've done in my life. There were times where he made me feel like the worst person in the world, too. Because I moved away, I broke free of that. I want to cut him out of my life and just... start over; something. I would hope it would never come to that for you -- it would be wonderful if you could have an actual bond with your father and feel loved and understood by him; by your entire family. I wish you the best.
You should never be made to feel that your feelings are wrong. They're not. You're a beautiful person. You deserve to be loved, cared for, listened to, and respected.
Empathy only translates so well over the computer, but know that it hurts me every time you're hurting. It really does. I wish I could comfort you in person and give you the support you need. I can only do so much here -- it's painful...
I'll always, always, always love you. I'll always support you. And you can talk to me about anything, any time. Please, if you ever need someone to listen, come to me. Nothing you could say would offend me. You can vent... cry... do whatever you need to. Know that I love you, forever, and I'm here if you want me.